rite Off!!!

Art business-Part I

2012-01-12T17:03:00.010+05:30

Art is the product or process of deliberately arranging items (often with symbolic significance) in a way that influences and affects one or more of the senses, emotions, and intellect.(Source: Wikipedia)

Basically art is a form of human expression, an idea that is conveyed through various means. This expression takes many forms in our daily lives and the perception of art too takes many different perspectives. But why is art or rather the concept of 'ART' not really assimilated as clearly as it should be?

Let me explain what I mean by that statement. I'll start with cinema because I am a little comfortable talking about it.

What is cinema? It is a form of art, a medium of expression, which is mostly a single person's, or in some cases a collective vision. For the ease of the end consumer, it is categorized and 'genre-ized'. This 'genre-ization' was mostly meant for the ease of the viewing public because people didn't know what to expect when they watch a certain kind of film.

Okay, so we have different genres. But when did cinema become commercial and 'art' cinema? I believe that commercial cinema is as much 'art' as 'non-commercial' cinema. The perception though, is completely different. In the Indian context, commercial cinema can be entertaining but at times banal. The non-commercial cinema drifts from sheer brilliance, to sometimes 'wanna be'.

We LOVE the fact that we have the ability to make our own choices. If we consider the movie-going public as a group of consumers, there must be a collective perception about movies that are watched by them. Does this perception(or opinion) get translated into feedback, and is used as an input in the films made in the future, is anybody's guess.

Why do I say that? I guess it is pretty clear, seeing all the movies that this area might have been over looked a little bit. Why is that?

Most of our cinema is very 'star-centric', and it is going to be for some time to come. I don't think most of us really have any problem with that fact. It becomes easier for us to sift through some of the films that we would not like to waste our time with. However, as we all grow older and smarter with our experiences, and as our tastes undergo changes over a period of time, does the cinema that we consume become more mature? Its for everyone out there to see whether it really has or not.

I remember Shah-rukh-khan saying in one of his promotional interviews for Ra.One that he wanted to give the generation of tomorrow something to hold on to, with respect to the film that we produce, otherwise it would mean the death knell for hindi film industry, as people would relate lesser with the films that are churned out relentlessly. The Hindi film industry doesn't represent all the regional cinema mediums in our country, but it is one MAJOR part. Does that mean that it shouldn't take its consumers for granted? I would like to think that everyone feels the answer should be a resounding YES.

If we consider a film to be a 'product' that is sold to the consumer(that is everyone of us who feels that they have over paid for a movie at the multiplex, then the producer of that 'product' should pay attention to what is being consumed and how it is being consumed. I can't really verify whether this is actually done in practice, but the recent history does suggest it is not really a phenomenon in the current set up.

There are various different types of movies that one can watch. And all of them have very different audience. There is a certain elitist perception with 'art cinema' which is changing little by little everyday as it is nearing to being more commercially viable.

If there is a certain group of filmmakers who really make films that are worth watching, over a period of time their films do get noticed and eventually become commercially successful. Therein lies the problem. While monetizing any idea into a product, that can be sold, in the end, a business has to pay attention to its consumers. In the near future the average cinema goer will mature and will DEMAND that he has the option of watching better films than what he could previously. Will the current filmmakers mature as does the cinema lover? Would it make business sense to rehash every old story and 'remake' it? I guess we will find out whether it does after Agneepath releases in ten days time.

I just hope Shah-rukh-khan's prediction doesn't come true.

(to be continued...)

Green Parade

2011-04-21T23:36:00.003+05:30

It started with someone freeloading a stream of water all over where I was buried. It was a weird feeling, constant burst of water all over, pushing me sideways. Until I could stretch out and hold on to the earth below, I felt like I would be washed away with the rest of them and wouldn't see this day up here, with nothing but concrete in sight.

I remember the days, when I was buried underneath the earth, waiting to push through to see this thing called the Sun that they talked about. And when I did sprout out, I realized that his magnificence was very understated . There was nothing more beautiful that I had ever seen. Even though he would beat down on me later in my life and the cruelty would be so hard to bear I would begin to curse the very existence of the creature, but every time I would remember that first moment I laid eyes on him. every time. And I would melt and bear his relentless fury. Through those times when I would be bare and almost resemble some of my friends who had given up and passed, there was only one thing to look forward to.

The sea of water. The one that I had begun to loathe in my formative years. The one that had almost taken away half my friends who couldn't make it through his vengeance. But I had misunderstood the fury. It was the wind that made the rains feel like they were out to get us. The poor things would just fall on a platter.

Later, I realized that water is what made me stronger and bigger. It was the wind that could uproot us from where we stood. But the one thing that he did makes us do was dance to his tune. All of us were powerless in the face of his strength. He would make us move whichever way he wanted us to. The green parade, that's what they called it. I never understood why until I got older and taller. It looked like he was our master and we were his students, and we would move almost in a synchronized movement. The Green Parade!!! Those were the times.

Now I stand here, almost at the end of my journey, waiting to be put out of my misery. When I look down below, I don't see any little ones who would make it up to where all the others and I did. They struggle and shove to try to get higher and become stronger, but before they could get anywhere they are chopped off to size.
They would never get as mighty and strong as the old flock that was around before them. Now those spots are taken over by these monstrous bland creatures who don't even budge and inch. Not that I can make out anyway. They are almost as tall as me, but don't have the flourish of my heydays. How I wish I could have one last parade.

Before Sunrise

2010-04-07T00:32:00.001+05:30

Before Sunrise

Jesse to Celine

50,000 years ago there's not even a million people, ten thousand years ago, there's like, two million people. Now there's between five and six billion people on the planet. If we all have our own individual unique soul, where did they all come from?? Are modern souls only a fraction of the original souls?? If they are, that represents 5000 to 1 split of each soul in the last 50,000 years, which is a blip in the earth's time. So at best, we're these tiny fractions of people walking... Is that why we're so scattered?? Is that why we're so specialized?? Yeah I know, I know. It's a totally scattered thought. Which is why it makes sense.

My First HourGlass Jam session experience...

2010-03-20T09:14:00.009+05:30

9.45 AM: I call YAYA (not the Barcelona or Ivorian football player YAYA TOURE), but my brother's friend and the lead singer of HOURGLASS the band he formed recently with a few friends. I have heard a lot about his band, the previous one. But I am finally getting down to seeing him jam with this new band of his...

He tells me to come to Kanchan Galli at around 10.15 or so... my brother knows better and tells me to get there by only 10.45. I go there early anyway and stick around the familiar locale. I have never really been to real jam session so there is a sort of nervous excitement. Since I also am trying my hand at re-learning to play the guitar, I thought that I'd know something or the other about music in general. But when I was sitting there i realized that I know nothing but A to G and a few chords. That sucks!!!

I walk into this building which I have seen probably a million times over the past 5 to 6 years. I always wondered what it was. Yaya tells me that it's his friend Ashish's building and that's where they have been jamming (for the past 4 months).

He gives me a general tour of the surrouding area, which I already know by the virtue of lying around the girl's place (meaning Anithooo, Kakoos, Akhilesh and SWedaaa) all the time. Anyway, i walk into the room and the usual introduction starts.

This is Chetan the drummer. Then I am introduced to the lead guitaris Amit. He's busy with his guitar and his music and he extends a hand to shake. Then the Band Manager Devashish and Ashish the guy who owns the place.

I walked into this room with wires all around couple of Samsung screens that they use to record or mix (which makes me realize my ignorance of the whole process of making music, not good) speaker,Amp(s), guitars and just wires. It's quite a large space actually the room but all the equipment makes it look small. I am surprised that even a normal jam session needs so much equipment. Hmmm...

Yaya hooks up his microphone and then the distortion pad (correct me if i am wrong YAYA) and then the guitar and he's good to go. But wait, there's someone missing. I remember meeting Ankur the bass guitarist, where is he? I ask Yaya. I am told that he's coming in. They start without him anyway.

Now i think i know music, a little bit atleast. But this was something else. I have heard people saying that they hate heavy metal and rock just cos it's too loud and you don't understand what they are singing about. I mean what good is music when you don't understand the words. Right??

WRONG!!! Music is not defined by the level of distortion on the guitar or other things (here my ignorance kinda speaks again) It's more the thought behind it. Rest of it is just immaterial. When you connect with any kind of music or know the thought process behind the words that make the song, that's when you truly appreciate music. I don't know what the thought process behind the music that they were playing, some covers (there was one original that I had heard YAYA play once called Someday, which is written by Amit and couple other songs that i knew of, but the others i didn't know whether they were originals or covers). But I remember saying something to YAYA when we were both leaving, when he asked me what I thought of the session. SOOTHING is what came to mind.

Boy was that song Someday something. I use the word awesome to many times to define brilliance (sometimes for yours truly too... :P) but to say the song the song was awesome would be a serious understatement. YAYA told me that they are starting slowly, with a few jam sessions and few songs recorded here and there.

After the session is done, I go out with Ankur for a smoke(Oh I almost forgot, Ankur walked in at around 11.30 with his girlfriend, sorry Ankur). After a few smokes and conversations with Ankur, his girlfriend and the Devashish the Band manager, we walk back in to find everyone involved in the recording session that ensues. By that time Kakoos had msgd me a few times, kinda had to split. Decided to stick around for sometime to see the recording session and a few pics of the band. But the stomach growling was just too much to handle. Said my nice to meet you and see ya later and ran to my buddy chef non-veg thali across the lane.

Anyway, it was truly a fascinating experience. More about it when I sit in for a few more sessions.

HOURGLASS (I really wished i had that logo :P)

AMIT
Ankur BHATT
CHETAN
Yayati ZENDE

Band MANAGER: Devashish

A Thought...

2010-03-18T03:59:00.004+05:30

That's all it takes... to spark a fire, to start wars, to brew enimity and what not.

It can keep you awake all night , even though you are dying to fall asleep. That's kinda the reason this post is actually gonna come up.

Why do our thoughts haunt us?? Or rather, why can't we let go of some thoughts?? It's a funny thing. Not every thought has such far reaching ramifications as not being able to sleep, or waking up in the middle of the night. It doesn't even have to be very personal. Sometimes the most random thoughts are so damn hard to not think of, that they almost ruin the whole idea of perfection or a stable mind that we like to attach with our world or our lives.

The thought of constructing a temple at an ancient site, which honestly no one really cared about until some political affiliations decided to make it a poll issue, has lead to the turmoil that surrounds our secular vision of our country. It lead to the deaths of almost two thousand people and many more in the ensuing riots in Bombay. It has also had a far reaching impact on the psyche of the affected who feel betrayed and seek vengeance even to this day. That's a power of the thought to just have a damn temple in some land, that we are ready to kill people, innocent people.

It's a funny thing. People say that one shouldn't think too much and just live life. Yeah right, like that really happens. It's a delusional state that we manifest, to make ourselves feel comfortable. Kind of a alternate sense of reality. To not be affected by the things that surround us, which ultimately leads us to become totally numb. That's only when u try to avoid those thoughts.

Hmmm... It's the thought of playing for his country that made GOD(read Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar), who used to be one of those kids who used to attend cricket coaching at Shivaji Park under the able guidance of Mr. Ramakant Archerekar, to soar so high above the mere mortals who play the game of cricket that we just call him one thing. GOD.

Hatred, is also a thought. People would call it an emotion, but it stems from a thought. The thought of being wronged or being generally unhappy for random reasons or cos of random things. In cases where it becomes a specific reason, that's where unhappiness manifests into hate and the overpowering feeling to inflict pain, on the person towards whom you feel that emotion, takes over. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a specific person or a thing. Sometimes, it just spills over and it's all over the place. That's why hate is not good. You spend so much time in hating someone or something, that it takes up almost all of your time.

Even an apple falling on some idiot's head is thought provoking. Sometimes our thoughts are stimulated by an event external to the mind. By an event, or an incident which might happen right before our eyes. Newton propounded the theory of gravity because that damn fruit fell on his head, an external event out of his control. How we let that event affect us and change us usually determines the path we take.

Dhirubhai Ambani started his business by selling saris on a bicycle and he went backwards from there, to find out how he could control the whole supply chain of his end product (ie. polyester), and that's what made Reliance the oil refining behemoth that it is gonna be anytime soon (or maybe already is). The fact that he also had many alternate thought processes running parallel, chiefly swindling the nation of a lot of revenue. That was the brilliance of the man. He knew how to control his thoughts and never really lost control of them.

It's a funny thing what a thought can do to an individual, if he/she can't control it. It starts of a negative spiral that we truly at some point believe that we can't get out of.

And then the thought goes away. For that fleeting second, you feel the ephemeral sense of time, your thoughts are clear and there is sense of calm that persists. Both in the air and in the mind.

Poha Rush!!!

2010-03-14T12:59:00.000+05:30

15 minutes...

... to 8 AM.

God this professor is starting to get on my nerves. And the break is only 5 minutes, it stretches to 10 maybe. I really enjoy his lectures, he gives a totally different twist to Income Tax. But right now I am hungry, just like the other 100 odd people in this classroom. And groggy from last night. Well that's common place when you get up at 5 everyday.

5 more minutes...

What good is 10 minutes when you have to struggle through a hundred people to get out of a suffocating classroom, in which time you have to finish ur tea and eat the little morsels of poha(for the uninitiated, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flattened_rice)that hardly fill your stomach... but are good enough to keep you going for the next one and a half hours or so.

Professor: "OK. So now we'll break for five minutes and we'll continue with the next section after the break.

5 minutes my foot!!!

RUN!!!

It's a sight worth seeing, how when you let a bunch of hungry and sleep deprived students go for those 5 minutes (stretched to 15, if you manage to captivate the professor in a conversation)... everyone is just all over the place.

I have only one thing in mind. The flattened yellow rice. A sense of rejuvenation which allows me to prolong the misery of sitting through 3 hours (well not an arduous subject), but never the less TAXING.

I make my way through the crowd. It doesn't help that another bunch of classes break at the same time. DAMN!!! It's really something to fight for your food, when you are so close to getting it.

Bhaiya ek Poha... and the guy looks at you, recognizes your face among so many. And you feel that you are gonna be the next one to be served ur hot poha. He can see the desperation in your eyes, and u can see that he wants to give u the next plate. He stretches out with the plate in his hands and say, khichadi-poha?? You look at him disapprovingly and nod in the negative. Then when your turn comes again, someone just snatches it before you take it. The poor guy aplogizes and hands you the next plate.

2 minutes...

... that's all it takes me to finish it. I wanna have one more, but i look at the time and knw better. Maybe tomorrow.

A Dog's World...

2010-02-28T19:59:00.000+05:30

1 X 7

Ten more seconds... After that the sun will be in my eyes and then, i'll just be waiting for some fool to come and kick me or try to scare me off from my comfortable, deep slumber...

Have I seen as much as normal people... I mean if they say that a dog year = 7 human years, then does that mean that I have seen and experienced 7 times more in my life. Does that mean all my life experiences have been exacerbated 7 times??

Maybe that's why I don't feel like chasing cars anymore, like in that song. I hate the way everyone has a different name for me. Like some would call me by a street's name or the square at which i loitter around, the other's would just whistle. I mean come on man, just cos you don't understand what I am saying doesn't mean you whistle out to me. Be creative and atleast come up with a stupid name.

I have been at the receiving end of a lotta street fights. My friends (not really friends, acquaintances would be more apt) and I used to get into a lotta fights, mostly territorial (that's all we really got to fight about :P). I have been bitten quite a few times and there are many scars to remind me of what went down.

Now I sit here all of 7 years old and I am thinking, looking at these little ones running around scaring people, barking and biting. Some even dying in front of those enormous moving machines, and I wonder, what's the point of being so lazy and just sitting here doing that weird yoga stretching shit that I keep doing every morning. Why not just go out there and do what i always used to do. I used to love doing what i did. Now all i do is wait for some fucker to come and feed me some biscuits, if he has any pity on me. Back in the day, my awesome charm was enough to feed me for weeks. I was given so many names that I forgot who called me what. So I just started responding to any which name. It was kinda fun actually. I had become nice and healthy with all the food that I was eating. Now i am scrawny and malnourished. None of those people who used to feed me are around anymore and the new people, they just love the younger ones and don't care about people like me.

What a pity. I think i'll just do the yoga and lie here for a while till someone comes and kicks me up my backside. Till then, i'll just enjoy this Ephemeral Moment of Bliss which I have craved all my life.

My Magic Glasses...

2009-11-27T17:43:00.000+05:30

I had a dream, one of those random day dreams that I have. For people who know me you'll understand what i am talking about. In that I had somehow managed to get my hands on these pair of magic glasses that can tell the future. As it was the first anniversary of 26/11 yesterday, I decided I wanted to see what happens till we reach the second anniversary of 26/11, a tradgedy that has totally changed the way we look at terrorism in India. Hopefully...

This is what i saw...

The MNS MLA from Pune, Mr. Wanjale (the guy with all the gold ornaments) has decided that he is gonna get rid of his facial hair and shave of his head and, wait for it, Get rid of his Flashy Gold Ornaments to look more civil. (100 days anyone)

Raj Thackeray has been keeping his court dates, in all the local courts across Maharashtra for engineering the attacks on north indians in november 2008. He has been given a heroe's welcome in all the towns that he has visited by his supporters.

BJP MP and Leader of Opposition L.K. Advani finally decides to retire from active politics and play a more passive role in the party. However, what really hastened his deparature was the ignominy of a shoe being flung at him in parliament. A committee was set up to punish the culprit, but secretly people wanna thank the idiot who actually threw the shoe rocket.

Mr. Azhagiri, the son of Tamil Nadu Chief Minister Karunanidi (Kalaignar), has finally learned to speak english and not just read it. This way he can actually be of some use as a minister and participate in the proceedings of parliament. Speaking of which, the honourable Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu has decided that he will not greet the public with his customary dark glasses cos he wants to get a feel for the lighter things in life.

Raj Thackeray has played a booboo. He says that those north indians living in Mumbai before 2006 (essentially the year before his party 'The MNS was founded') are all Maharashtrians and any next of kin who join them in aamchi Mumbai (no wait Bombay) are still welcome. Playing to the gallery huh Raj... with an eye on the BMC polls?

Woody Allen has decided that he wants to make a movie in Mumbai as a tribute to the city. He says that the city's spirit is something he wants to capture on film.The spirit of Mumbai!!! God how many times have we heard that before.

Lastly, Madhur Bhandarkar has decided to make another 'realistic' movie based on the 'Movie Industry'. Any guesses what the name will be? He believes that he can give a give a more realistic perspective to the inner workings of the industry than what has been done so far. God not again.

Touch... (continued)

2009-09-18T00:46:00.000+05:30

I have been away for a long time now. I spent the last month in Bombay, a city which i wish to make my home someday. People ask me what do you love in Bombay so much. They crib about the filth, the trains, the distance, the humidity and what not. There is an inbuilt fear of the city that every parent has and it permeates down to the children. Most people hate the city, which is something i will never understand. Even after all that thousands of people migrate to the city every year. I guess that is just Bombay. That's a phrase that I happened to use so often, everyday on the streets of Bombay.

The first thing that my father said to me when i told him that i was going to Bombay was, "be careful, take care of your things and keep your wallet inside a bag when travelling in the train", and another thing that I am not gonna mention here. It was weird cos all my life I have stayed alone, and suddenly my parents go all, 'be careful and take care of urself', which used to be something that I had heard way back in probably 10th standard. The level of paranoia that I could sense in their voice reminded me when I was 10, and I was going to boarding school for the first time. Being the youngest child, there is bound to be some amount of paranoia that you have to deal with, and over a period of time I got used to it. Still they were really concerned about me living alone in Bombay.

And I am sorry people, if you don't like me calling it Bombay then just fuck off.

So where was I. Hmm... It's a funny city, is Bombay. It just let's you in nobody cares about who you are and what you do. Just show the maal aur dekho kamal. That's one thing that will probably stand true always about it. No matter how much people try to rile up the locals about the whole "outsider problem", nobody gives a fuck. Actually they don't really have the time to. Everyone is after just one thing when they are in Bombay. Money. It's a city that churns out money.

When I reached Bombay from Pune the whole swine flu saga had just started. Lots of people were dying and also a few in Bombay too died, because of that i thought since travelling in the train and all there are probably more chances of me contracting the disease than ever. I was wondering whether I should buy that N 95 mask to protect myself. I had a very paranoid roommate from Amravati who almost convinced me to buy one. The man would wear his hankie like some kinda terrorist and roam around with me. I also tried it a few times, but it was too funny and weird from me to continue with it for more than 10 minutes.

I took a bold step into the trains hoping I don't get the disease. To my surprise except for a handful -and that too in the crowd that the trains carry, not many people were actually even covering their faces. That's something that struck me about the city.

People talk about the spirit of Bombay and what not, but until you are actually living there you don't realise what it really means. It's weird. Nothing really scares the people of Bombay anymore. I mean come on the city has bean torn apart by bomb blasts, riots, floods and what not. Still next day you'll find thousands, no correct that millions waiting for the train next day. Why? I asked myself the question many times. Why and what makes the people so resilient?

I was reading this amazing book called Maximum City by Suketu Mehta. I would honestly request any of whom who have read this post till here, Get your own copy. Better still, read it if you ever live in Bombay or while you are living there. It will make you fall in love with the titular city. Everyday while reading the book you find that what Mr. Mehta wrote is actually happening, all around you. And everytime that happened, I understood why those 584 pages probably couldn't do justice to this unbelievable city. There are so many little details that you could write a book about those small little details. Why do people fall in love with cities that they didn't grow up in? Why do people come in hordes to Bombay and make it their home? Why do people travel almost 150 kms a day to work in the city? What makes the city tick?

I roamed around a lot and got to see many faces of the city. What amazed me is that the line that separates the haves and the have nots is so thin, but it is a very obvious line. The man who probably lives in a comfortable flat in a decent suburb in the city, still has to take the same train to V.T or Churchgate to pay for the bills as the man living in a shanty or a slum.

Why people hate Bombay? I can't figure it out. I don't think I'll be able to figure that out very soon. I think the fact that there is no differentiating you in that crowd, the millions. The fact that you are just one among the millions, makes you lose your identity. And that's why I love the city. You can be whoever you want to be. You just need to have the maal, phir dekhna kamaal.

Alright, from now on I am going to try to be regular with my posts. Sorry for the long gap between the last post and this one. Been busy and also been in Bombay so, yeah.

The Legend of the Curd Rice.

2009-06-13T03:49:00.000+05:30

And the legend continues...

This is a story of the favourite dish of all that is Tamil.

Essentially it is not really a dish. It is more of an experience. If you ask any tamilian (excluding yours truly of course) what would complete his meal; the prompt answer would be 'konjum thayir sadam', as though life would not be whole without the gift of god to man kind, Curd rice.

The conditioning to thayir saadam( if you still haven't gotten it, it means curd rice) starts at a very young age for us. From the little morsels of 'thachi mummum' (again, curd rice) which were fed to you by patti (grandmum), to the suffocating tadka that precedes the preparation of this lovely delicacy.

I read somewhere that humans generally burp as an indication that the stomach is full. Tamilians though have a different mechanism, they eat thayir sadam to signify that the meal is now definitely over.

There are many explanations to the phenomenon of 'Thayir Sadam'. One that I really liked was from a teacher of mine. She said that tamilian food consists of three courses. Sambar rice, rasam rice, and then comes 'THAYIR SADAM'. Thayir sadam detoxifies the effects of the spices of the previous 2 courses. The fact being nothing can really detoxify the effects of sambar and rasam. Not even the lovely thayir sadam can conquer the after effects of those spices. Trust me.

The amount of times I have gotten dirty looks from my relatives for refusing to have thayir sadam is truly amazing. In a tamil household, to refuse thayir sadam tantamounts to an insult to the host. And if you happen to be a tamilian(other species are let off because they don't know the true benefits of all that is tamil), then the questions come pouring in. Why don't you eat thayir sadam? Atleast have thayir. What is wrong with you? as if you have committed the worst sin ever. It is expected that every tamilian knows the benefits of thayir sadam. And trust me, every tamilian is taught the benefits of it.

Another modification of thayir sadam is 'More Sadam'. This is nothing but buttermilk with rice. There still exists many variations to it, althought the time required to explain it is truly enormous. More sadam is usually served at weddings, where buying so much thayir is really expensive.

So, the next time when you see a tamilian going gaga over his thayir sadam and licking the trickling curd/more from his elbow to his fingers, remember it means so much more to him than just food.

Confessions of a funny mind.

2009-06-08T01:00:00.000+05:30

DAY: WAKE UP TIME

Oh another day. Need to put on my funny suit. Gotta pick up my notes about the jokes that i have made up. Hope my friends laugh at them. It's kinda difficult being the funny guy, people now expect me to be funnier everytime.

Gotta look up for more jokes that i can crack. I need to wait for the oppurtune moment. I need to read some of those joke books. Find a better way to fit them into conversations.

LATER: MY OFFICE

God i am so bored. There is nothing interesting on the internet at all. I hate my work. How i wish that i could make a career in being funny. No wait, that means i'll have to top my last joke with an even better one. That's too much pressure. I think i should just stick to a mundane life. Being funny can be difficult. Look at Jay Leno, the poor guy after so many years on that show which he made his own had to step down. He was getting very repetitive. The same old Bush jokes, with a little innuendos and taking digs at the politicians, filmstars alike. Can i do that for a living? Seems easy doesn't it. All I do anyway is look for better jokes to crack. Better ways to entertain people around me. That's too much pressure to take. What if i repeat a joke? It has happened before.

When i crack joke now people don't find it as funny as before. They are not on the floor and laughing their guts out. I need to reinvent myself. I was voted the funniest guy. I think it is getting to my head. Is it just a case of 'funny mind' bloc?
Did i really get voted the funny man? My close competitor claims that the trophy is his. Wait. Was there a trophy? If there was then why didn't i get it?

LUNCH TIME:

I think i should start writing all my jokes down. That guy with that really kick ass joke book did it. He also made a lot of money doing it. But then there is no orginality in that, is there. Am I just melting down? The pressure to top my last performance is insurmountable. Or is there any pressure? Is it all in my head?

NIGHT:APARTMENT

Even while reading a book or a journal, that's all I do. Just wondering when the next joke will come. I need to get out of this mode. I used to be spontaneous. Why am I waiting for a situation to happen? Why am I trying to be funny? Why can't I just be funny the way I am?
I feel like I have a sign on my forehead which says FUNNY GUY COMING THROUGH. All that people expect me to do is crack a joke. ' Hey funny guy say something funny', ' you are a funny guy', 'that guy is really funny', they are all waiting for me to crack 'em up. Come on man.

I feel like the trophy is slipping away from me. Wait, was there a trophy?

BED TIME:

Just get some sleep dude, being funny is something that comes naturally to you. Why are you trying so hard to be funny? Great.
Now I am talking to myself. That's funny. Feel like I am losing my mind. It's hard being the funny guy, I can feel my crown slipping away. Life would just be so simple being an innocent civillian.

zzzzz...

P.S. My inspiration were a few words forwarded by my dearest friend JLT. And GOD this is isn't about me!!!

Touch...

2009-06-05T22:30:00.000+05:30

6 DAYS AGO: SWARGATE

God!!!! I hate this bus stand. It's an excuse for a bus stand really. If a person doesn't get killed in the process of trying to even attempt to catch a bus it's a miracle. Doesn't really matter. I am finally gonna get out of this place. Need my 3 days of intoxication to rejuvenate.

Bengaluru here i come. 

There is something to that name. Can't get over how funny it sounds. 

It is called Bengaluru in the native tongue of the land, fair enough. Why shouldn't one call it that.

I guess everybody goes through a phase of liguistic insecurity.

My home state did.

There have been cases in Tamil Nadu in the 60's to the 80's, and some part of the 90's where migrant workers from the "North", for the most natural reason were shunned if they didn't speak tamil. Honestly stupid, but now things have changed, atleast i hope they have.

I hate the pseudonyms given to other cities too, but this one just gets me to laugh.
Someone once told me that these are all slave names, the older more cooler names like Bombay, Calcutta, Madras, Bangalore etc. Hmm... interesting point, never thought of it that way.

I shouldn't have drank just before getting on to the bus. I feel like i am gonna throw up all over the guy next to me, in front of me and the driver. I just hope there are no bumps on the road.

Hah!! Wishful thinking. You are going on a bus and no jhatkas.
Oh fuck here comes on...
Breathe... God the water sucks. Bet they re-sealed an old bottle with some tap water. The water is gonna make me throw up more than anything else.

FEW HOURS LATER:

After one of the many jhatkas, it is just inevitable that one will wake up. I Look around to see any other grumpy faces, awake. What!!!!! I can't believe this, there is no one awake, except me and the driver. This motion sickness thing is getting to me. Should have just listened to Janaavi and popped a pill.
We seemed to have stopped at a toll booth.

TEN MINUTES LATER:

Why isn't this bus moving man? The driver is talking to the toll booth attendant in some weird melange of hindi and kannada.

DRIVER

Eh tuke... Chutiya. Chutiya samjha.

God knows what he was trying to say.
And i thought that i was a language enthusiast, maybe a wanna be linguist.

DRIVER

Eh tuke chutiya samjha kya mene.
Aa ke mara kya. Paisa de. Chutta de. Yen ra Chuttiye.

I love the way the hindi is spoken in different parts of this country. It's got it's own touch. In the hindi heartland, the number expletives used in the conversation sometimes is a barometer of how affectionate a person really is.

Conversely, in one of my many conversations with one of my most interesting friends, i would just like to call him 'The Tushy', I came to the conclusion that you may hurl all the expletives in the English language at anyone like, 'you cock sucking motherfucker' but when you say something like 'teri maa ki, bhosdi wali madarchod, aisi gand marunga ki dimag ka bhosda nikal jayega', it usually elicits the response which may range from an equally repulsive retort, to punches flying all over the place to complements about how well thought out the gali really was . 

JUST ONE OF THOSE MANY STOPS:

The damn bus keeps stopping at odd hours at the night and I unfortunately keep waking up. The driver goes on yelling something in kannada and I, by virtue of sitting through probably the most horrible but yet the most successful piece of kannada cinema on the planet earth, understand whatever kannada is thrown at me throught the whole trip. 

It is funny that after almost a year after i return to Karnataka, i understand the language. I put it down to the 3 weeks spent in the nondescript town of Hospet. My undying appreciation for Hospet though would be reserved for another day. 

NEXT DAY:

God i hate traveling by buses. My head is spinning lke a top.
Random villagers keep walking by early in the morning along the highway and doing one of the many thousand things that i have seen people all over this country doing. It is truly amazing.

I can't help but wonder what keeps us so bound together and so similar. Sometimes we hate each others guts. People each side of the border in every state, hate each other for some reason or the other. 
Except for my home state(where hindi is just a word and nothing else), almost every other state's citizens speak Hindi. It's wonderful that we almost all can speak the same language but we don't want to. 

I like that initial monologue from that movie Crash(what an awesome movie). It's something about touching and crashing. I have my own take on it.

It makes a lot of sense. Come to think of it, our lives, all of us. One billion of us, touch each other at some level or the other. It maybe the highway that I may travel by, which was built by a construction worker who now lives in oblivion. Or the cigarette that we smoke which was probably rolled by some underpaid worker in the hinterland, so that the insatiable need to replenish the nicotine levels in our body is satisfied. The tea leaves that bring a ceremonious beginning to the wretched days of our lives. I could go on and on. 

To be Continued...

Demons????

2009-06-03T12:47:00.000+05:30

Janaaavi dear where are you?
Poor thing her auto broke down. I am definitely gonna miss beginning of this movie. Oh fuck wait, there was this other movie i wanted to watch. What's the name? Frozen!!!! Let's see if i get the tickets for it.

"Excuse-me can i exchange these tickets for another movie?"

The guy at the counter says, " No sir, tickets once sold cannot be exchanged, returned or the money refunded", pointing to the board which gives all the damn conditions.

Doesn't matter, I'll watch the movie tomorrow. For now Angels and Demons it is. Where is this woman though?

TEN MINUTES LATER

There she is finally. She asks me if i got the tickets and if i was sure about the screen. Affirmative.(now i wish that it was T4 that i was watching, but the movie hasn't released yet)
Run into the hall, and as i thought missed the beginning. I didn't read the book so was a little curious about the story.

As I was told later by Janu, it started with the murder with a research partner of Ms. Vittoria Vetra the CERN scientist played by the exquisite Ayelet Zurer(Munich and Vantage Point fame). A canister containing the Anti-Matter that would destroy all of Vatican if it explodes has been stolen from the research partner. Ewan Mcgregor plays the Carmerlengo.

Mr. Robert Landon is summoned by the Swiss Guard to help them solve the mystery behind the kidnappings of the 4 prefarattis after the death of His Holiness the Pope, just before the conclave begins to vote for the new pope.

Hmm... that sounds more like it Mr. Howard.

~Ron Howard takes up the reins as director again after the visually stunning Da Vinci Code made mega bucks, more due to the publicity it gathered by the controversy surrounding the film, as it was inspired from the book by the same name written by the acclaimed writer Dan Brown, than anything else.

How a movie with so many Oscar winners would turn out to be just a mediocre execution is totally beyond me. Tom Hanks(Forrest Gump), Ron Howard( A Beautiful Mind) and Akiva Goldsman, screenplay(A Beautiful Mind), reunite after their last attempt to bring to life the litereary works of Dan Brown. Word is that he is writing a sequel to the Da Vinci Code. What's the bet that he has already sold the rights for the movie to Sony Pictures and they are planning another dash at the summer box-office.

I am not an avid reader, but i do feel that there are movies that you can make in to movies and there are movies will fail to recreate the magic, of the book they are based upon. Though Da Vinci code already made it to the second list, I can't really comment on Angels & Demons, but from what i gather it is very close.

The movie will make it's money and be a blockbuster but after the standards set by The Dark Knight last summer it is difficult to really appreciate a summer blockbuster for just a masala flick. The comparison is maybe too harsh, what a man with no oscar to his name working with real good actors( only Michael Caine(Alfred) won an oscar), who has made movies like Memento (which only after The Godfather is like the best movie ever)can do, an oscar winner can't, give a blockbuster which embibes the ethos of an indie and gives something more than just and adventure flick.

The parts where Langdon tries to explain the history behind the illuminati seems too far fetched. I loved Da Vinci Code the book, but it did remain just a very good history book with story of a murder mystery weaved around to flaunt the author's extraordinary research. I am afraid that even Angels & Demons might end up just being that.

Tom Hanks, the poor man has probably done every role or character that one can ever think of just needs some time pass i guess. I never really understood why a brilliant actor like him would do a movie like Da Vinci code, but now i am convinced that he's just getting too bored and trying to experiment.

The movie has a typical Ron Howard and Akiva Goldsman touch to it. Don't get me wrong the movie was a work of Art. Coming from people as talented as the trio above, this is just a tad bit disappointing.

Dei Janaaavi let's go to eat now. Will come and watch Frozen tomorrow. Don't ditch.

P.S. Check out the link below
http://www.avclub.com/articles/put-the-book-back-on-the-shelf-13-booktofilm-adapt,28405/